Parenting Notes

July 2009

(For previous versions of Parenting Notes, click here).

Dwell in me and I will dwell in you. (Live in me and I will live in you) Just as no branch can bear

fruit of itself without abiding in (being virtually united to) the vine, neither can you bear fruit unless

you abide in the vine. (John 14:4; Amplified)

Where we live is so important. Oh, not physically but spiritually. As parents we are so concerned about how our children will turn out. I think if we were a little more concerned about how WE have turned out it would make a greater difference. Remember, the children will do what we do, not what we say. It’s not enough to tell them to be Christ-like we must show them what that looks like in our daily life. We must really walk in the love of God so that it is visible to others. Our children very quickly see our hearts and can seemingly read our minds. So what are they seeing in us?

There is a lot of interest in correcting our children. How can I make them do this? How can I make them be that? But not enough interest in our parenting behavior. It takes a lot of preparation to be a good parent. But it mostly has to do with becoming what the Word says. We need to practice His presence so that the presence can be seen by our children. We must be committed to a faithful prayer life so they will know how to do that. We must be committed to caring for our brothers and sisters in the family of God so that they can know what that is like. We need to make our assembly times important in our weekly schedule so they can see what that is like. We teach them by EXAMPLE.

Then how do we treat our spouse? If we are continually correcting our spouse in front of other people, or ‘cutting them down’ or telling them how dumb they are our children will begin to do the same thing—probably to you! We should do any correcting or settling disagreements in private. It is so embarrassing to be corrected in public. I always spoke to my children privately to correct and instruct them. It will give your child a dignity and self esteem that they need. It just is not good to expose our children’s faults publicly.

As we learn to do what this scripture says –DWELL in Him—we will see His grace available to us to handle any situation. And believe me, there will be some situations. I remember when one of my kids was about four years old and we were shopping with my Mom. They wanted a particular item and was told ‘not today’. So they decided to throw a little fit and see if that would work. I simply wrapped my arms around the child and whispered in their ear -”I love you, but if you don’t stop this we will have a spanking waiting for you in the car”. They immediately stopped screaming and began to smile sweetly. When I was at the check out the clerk asked what I said to the child to change the attitude so quickly. People notice when those things happen. I think it becomes a witness of God’s love. We left the store very happy. God will direct you when you dwell in Him.

Father, give us the ability to do and live and love as your Word says. Help us to be mindful of your kindness and love for us as we deal with our children to make them like you. Amen

Blessings to you,

Mama Jo