Parenting Notes

March 2009

(For previous versions of Parenting Notes, click here).

Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is His reward.

Psalm 127:3

What a great blessing our children can be to us! And what little stinkers they can be sometimes.  When we see this side of a child we often think how terrible it would be to have children like that.  We often have great sympathy for their parents. But the truth is, in most cases it’s the parents fault if the children misbehave in such a bad manner. We have been given the children as a gift from God and it is our responsibility to train them. So many times we want our child ‘fixed’ and the parent exonerated. But usually the parent needs to be ‘fixed’ before the child can have a chance.

The greatest thing we can offer our child is a believing parent – believing the Word of God and then living it before them. A child will learn more from observing your actions and way of life than from the words you say to him. Children tend to do as their parents do. That can put a lot of responsibility on the parents – as it should. The old saying , ‘actions speak louder than words’ is very true for a child. So if you parent as a Christian, use the Word of God as your guide book. Begin with the love chapter –I Corinthians 13 – and work on utilizing all you can learn there. Then go into the epistles and get directions from the disciples. Jesus gives good guidelines in the Gospels.

When my children were small I quickly learned that if I was busy with my activities they were much more likely to be happy. I can remember having a bad day and wishing they would just “go play” and leave me alone. I’m tired and I need some time off! Somehow I could never get that to work for me. I began to notice that when I wanted to make that deal I was usually in a bad mood or angry that something didn’t go my way, or secretly blaming my kids that I was too tired. My children soon realized that something was not right with Mom and became concerned. They can’t usually express what they are sensing so they just got out-of sorts along with Mom. They experience a great unsettledness, disapproval, rejection, then fear and eventually have a meltdown. And WE wonder, what’s wrong with that Kid! We have created a bad atmosphere for them and they don’t know how to deal with it. It is much easier to take a few minutes in prayer, cast our care on the Father, forgive and ask for forgivness and have a good day than to see our children suffer. Our bad attitudes get passed on to our children very easily. So learn to walk in peace. Learn to walk in the Word, and so will your child. Practice what you know works and the children will do the same.

Father, today we thank you for granting a right spirit in us and filling us with your Love. Without you we would have nothing to give. Thank you that we can pattern our lives after you and thereby teach our children of your goodness. Thank you that we are learning together today and celebrating victory in you!

Be Blessed – we win!

Mama Jo