Parenting Notes

September 2009

(For previous versions of Parenting Notes, click here).

Train up a child in the way he should go {and in keeping with his individual gift or bent} and when he is old he will not depart from it  (Proverbs 22:6 AMP)

Children are a blessing from the Lord.  We can always find someway to be blessed by them and usually entertained.  They can be lots of fun - - or they can be a heavy load!  It seemed to me that I would always be training my children.  Will it ever get to a place where I can just sit and enjoy the scenery and let the kids be in charge?  Probably not.    My two children are now adults and I still feel the urge quite often to speak into their lives.  I email my older son in Barcelona often just to say how proud I am of him and what he has accomplished in his life.  And tell him he brings great joy to my life.  I feel that my approval has a way of encouraging him and is important.  Could he live without it?  Yes, but why not be a blessing when I can.  I try to tell my daughter often what a good job I think she is doing.  Living near her still gives me opportunity to speak into her life and I am always blessed to see her growing in her gifting.  So, to answer my own question – no I will probably not ever get to the place of being ‘finished’ with them.  But I will always enjoy them.

Many parents think that training their child is only a matter of doing what Mom and Dad did for me, but there is so much more.  One of the best and most helpful things I have found is teaching our children to find their personality type.  We have taught this in our church for several years and each time we see the benefits are so rewarding.  You can begin to see your child’s personality type very early in life. There are four basic personality types – sanguine, phlegmatic, melancholy and choleric.  We call these the Popular Sanguine, the Peaceful Phlegmatic, the Perfect Melancholy, and the Powerful Choleric.  These titles give you an idea of the different types of personalities and people and will help you to get started in recognizing these traits in your children. 

If you are near House of the Lord in Austin you can find a class that will be teaching about this subject.  If you want to learn for yourself find the book PERSONALITY PLUS by Florence Littauer.  It is all inclusive of the materials you need to refer to for learning about your children.  I thought I could train my two exactly the same way.  Nothing I did for Gary ever worked with Michelle – surprise, surprise!  Gary was phlegmatic – laid back and quiet.  Michelle was melancholy – emotional and “picky”.  This teaching on the personality types would have saved me much grief.

Learn the differences in your children and train them according to their bent or gifting. Find out how one is different from the other and treat them accordingly.  This is God’s way and His ways always work.

Your are blessed and a blessing,

Mama Jo